He took one final glance around to see if anyone else was looking like they needed the elevator and suddenly spied a tasty blonde wearing tight denim jeans and a top that was so low-cut, it left a great deal of her ample bosom uncovered.  She glanced in the lifts direction momentarily, and at him; he hoped she'd get in the elevator with him. 

The blonde took a quick look at her watch and walked off in the opposite direction.

Yates reluctantly pressed the ground floor button and the lift doors swished slowly to.

I'm trapped, he thought.  What if the doors won't open?  What if the lift sticks?  It's been known to happen.

He always felt this way when he entered an elevator; he'd always had a fear of them. 

Yates felt the lift begin to descend and his heart began to quicken its pace as he watched the illuminated panel register each floor in turn. 

To take his mind off things he thought about the blonde he'd seen who'd almost accompanied him into the wretched thing.  He could have endured the lift if she'd entered.  He imagined a scenario that could have taken place if she'd got in with him.  Imagined pushing her up against the side of the lift, relieving her of her jeans and slipping down her knickers, then urgently removing his own jeans and undies, and then forcing her up against the side of the lift and ramming his erection inside her.  She would be willing of course, the women always were when he had these kind of fantasises.  His fantasies would often involve celebrities, women off the telly, models, Hollywood actresses; he'd had them all (in his fantasies at least!)

He would have sold his soul to the devil to have been given the chance to have the blonde who'd almost got in the lift.  She was something else!  

He brought himself from his daydreams as the elevator passed the first floor.

Only one more level now he though to himself, relief and foreboding gripped him in equal amounts.  He'd heard stories of these damned things getting stuck, people stranded for hours until they were rescued. 

He felt a trickle of sweat drip down his brow. 

After what seemed like a few lifetimes, the elevator reached the ground floor ... but then carried on going down.

He reached forward and pressed the button frantically to stop its motion, but the lift was plummeting at a rapid rate.  He continued to push at the buttons, any button, he just wanted the damned thing to stop.  'Shit!'

The illuminated numbers indicated the basement and the lift came to a sudden halt throwing him against the side. 

He regained his balance.  'Fuck!' he shouted, then added: 'You fucking arseholes, scaring the shit out of me like that!'  He had no idea who he was shouting at; he just felt angry that he'd been put through hell due to some kind of malfunction.

Ah well, he thought to himself, I'll get out here and find some stairs to walk up.  There was no way he was going to stay in the lift; there was obviously something wrong with it that it went to the wrong floor.  No way was he going to get back in that fucking elevator once he'd escaped from it!

He waited for the doors to open.  Nothing.

'Come on open, don't do this to me!' he cried out, and leaned forward to hammer on the basement button repeatedly.

Still no movement of the doors.

'For fuck's sake!' he shouted, 'will you open!'

As if hearing his pleas the doors opened.  He breathed a sigh of relief and stepped out.

It was a storeroom of some kind but it looked like no one had been down there for years.  All the large cardboard boxes looked dusty and dirty.  There was a damp smell, mustiness about the place.  But it was preferable to that damned lift.  Anything was better than that!

Yates stepped out into the basement and the elevator doors slid shut behind him.  He saw from the illuminated numbers above the lift doors that it had begun travelling upwards. 

It was as if the thing had a life of its own. 

It's probably gone up to ensnare some other poor victim and put them out on the wrong floor.  It no doubt has a sadistic streak, he thought. 

Yates looked around for stairs but there didn't seem to be any.  Also there was no request button on the lift's control panel for the basement, not that he relished using the fucking thing again.

In the distance somewhere, he thought he heard the faint sound of a woman giggling.  He stepped forwards in the direction of it.  'Hello?' he called out.

As he neared, walking between shelves piled high with dusty boxes, he heard a man breathing heavy and moaning, and he could hear that the woman too was panting and occasionally giving a giggle.  He couldn't believe it.  What he was hearing was obviously some couple shafting each other senseless.  He guessed that two employees had made their way down there to have a quickie during their lunch break!

He put his head around the corner where the noises were coming from, Yates saw the woman was naked, and standing on top of a small box, behind her, screwing the life out of her, was a little man: a dwarf.   

The dwarf had its pants down and was humping her for all he was worth.  But the odd thing about the dwarf was the way he was dressed.  He was dressed in a tunic with a pointed hat like something out of a carnival!

Yates became aware of someone stood behind him and spun round, and came face to face with another dwarf dressed similarly to the one giving the woman what for.

'Seen enough, pervert?' The dwarf asked him.

'What's going on down here?' Yates wanted to know.

'None of your fucking business, that's what's going on mister.'  The dwarf held a knife.  'And if you don't piss off and leave us to get on with it, you'll end up dead fucking meat pal!'

The dwarf was a bit grumpy thought Yates, something in the back of his mind triggered when he thought this.  'Well I'd like to but I can't get out of here.'

'Can't get out of here, don't make me laugh, go back the way you came.'

'I can't, I came down by the lift but there's no request button.'

'Lift?  There is no lift here.'

'Of course there is.'  Yates pointed behind the little man to where the elevator had been, but the lift doors had vanished as if theyd never been there.  'Well whats tha-' he began.

The dwarf twisted in the direction Yates was looking.

'There was a lift there, how do you think I got down here?'

'Are you trying to be funny?' asked the dwarf.    

'This is like a nightmare.'

'If you don't fuck off, I'll stab you,' the dwarf spat, and then added: 'It's my turn next!'

He was obviously the next in line to shaft the brunette.

Two more dwarves appeared out of the shadows, followed by another three.  All in all the dwarves numbered seven now, and the woman.  The six that weren't otherwise occupied advanced towards him and eyed him with curiosity.

'Who's this fucker?' one of them said, and then gave a sneeze.

'I dunno, he says he got down here by the lift,' the grumpy one said.

'There is no lift,' one of the other dwarves said, sleepily, giving a yawn.

'He says there is.'

'He's obviously a loony,' said another of the dwarves who sounded a bit dopey.

Yates noticed that one of the dwarfs had a permanent smile fixed on his face, like the wind had changed and had left it that way.

'This is insane, why are you all dressed funny?' Yates asked the congregation of little men.

'What do you mean, dressed funny?' said the grumpy one.

'In those stupid outfits.'

'Stupid outfits?'    

They all checked themselves.

'Yeah that get up, is there a fancy dress party going on down here or something?'

'We always dress like this,' said the grumpy one.

'What are you, the seven dwarves?'    

Yes that was it, thought Yates, they were the seven dwarves and the woman was obviously Snow White.

'He knows who we are,' said the dopey one.

'How does he know who we are?' the grumpy one said.

'I don't know, ask him.'

'How do you know who we are?' asked the grumpy one.

'You're the seven dwarves, right?' said Yates and gave a laugh.  This was insane.

'And what's so funny about that?' asked Grumpy.

'He's laughing at us,' said Sneezy.

'I'll Stab the fucker!'  Grumpy went at him with his knife.

'What are you doing?'  It was the woman who'd been getting it from the dwarf, but now she was slipping on her dress and Yates could now see that she was in fact done up like Snow White.

'And you're Snow White, right?' Yates mocked.

'How do you know my name?' she asked.

'He knew who we were too,' said Sneezy and gave another sneeze.

Yates surmised that this must be some bizarre role-playing game and he had interrupted their pervy little liaison.  'Look if you just tell me how to get out of here I'll go and leave you to it.  I'm not a prude, each to their own and all that,' he told her.

'Can't you go out the way you came in?' Snow White asked him.

'I told him that but he wasn't having it, he kept ranting on about how he came down here in a lift,' Grumpy informed her.

This caused much amusement with the rest of the dwarves who all started laughing.

'So, handsome stranger, what do you want to do now you're down here?' Snow White wanted to know.    

'Let me stab him, he's getting on my fucking tits,' cursed Grumpy.

'You're not stabbing anyone Grumpy, that is, not unless our friend isn't game.'

Grumpy? thought Yates, this is insane!

'Wait a minute you're not suggesting I join in ... are you?  You're all fucking perverts!'

'You can't have sex with him he's not a dwarf,' Grumpy informed her.

'Show me in the rules where it states that I, Snow White, can not get rogered senseless by a person who is not a dwarf.'

'There is no rules, I've never seen any.'

'Precisely, and just because I'm going to let this chap give me a seeing to, doesn't mean I love all of you any the less,' Snow White told the dwarves.

'Well if you put it like that '

There were murmurs of agreement from the other dwarves.

Yates suddenly remembered the film he'd loved as a child, and remembered wishing he could live with the dwarves and Snow White in their house.  Snow White had been one of his first crushes.

The object of his desire from childhood now took Yates by the hand and led him away from the dwarves, who were still muttering to each other about the interloper in their midst.  'Are you game?' she asked him.

'Why not?' Yates said enthusiastically, developing a stiff in his jeans at the thought of it.

Why not indeed, might as well participate in this madness now he'd been thrown into it.

'Before we commence though there is one thing.'  She produced a scroll.  'You need to sign in blood.'

'Sign in blood?'

This game was getting too kinky

'Sign just the once and any woman you want is for the taking: Snow White, the blonde who nearly got in the lift with you...'

'How do you know about her?'

Yates got his answer as Snow Whites face suddenly metamorphosed momentarily into the demonic face of someone he should have guessed had been behind this all along.  Sometimes known as Mephistopheles or Beelzebub, but more often known as the Devil or Satan, and now known as ... Snow White, apparently!

He happily signed in blood, after all, what was shedding a bit of blood when you got to hump Snow White?

Copyright David Barton 2003

back to Short Fiction